Arizona Orb Weaver #2

I couldn't believe a good my cell phone camera was: It resolved every single tiny hair on this spider's ass! OOoopps!--Abdomen.

Spiders terrify me. This is why I keep them as pets! Photo by me.

This is no joke. I catch them, feed them, play with them, draw them and then dream of them. Except in my dreams, they are as big as "Shelob" from the Lord of the rings; as big as a Budweiser Clydesdale or a Belgian draft horse. I remember the screaming human who got eaten by a giant spider in a storm drain from Irwin Allen's the "Land of the Giants," and David Hedison with a fly's body in the original movie, "The Fly."

I also keep bark scorpions, giant desert hairies, and Meso-American emperor scorpions as pets.

When arachnid fangs as long as knitting needles and as thick as a corkscrew sink in to a man's chest cavity, the screaming becomes ungodly. "Help me! Helllllllllp meeeeeee! Don't eeeeeeaaaaaattt meeeeeeeeeee!"